Dugong

Steller's sea cow was hunted to extinction by the Georgians

And if it wasn't for the dugong we would could only ask historians

About the dugongidae family, a friendly bunch who live in the sea;

They invited me round to their home in Shark Bay for a mug of Earl Grey tea.

I couldn't refuse such an exciting invitation,

So I swam all the way to Australia in a state of exaltation.

They told me they used to be mistaken for mermaids which was hard to believe;

Between sips of tea and paragraphs, they visited the surface to breathe.

They said their grandmother was the red-headed Ariel from Hans Christian Anderson's tale.

Mistaken for a mermaid, I thought, She looks more like a whale.

I asked them all sorts of questions: What's your favourite colour? Your favourite dish?

They all agreed that pink was nice and they said: "We never eat fish.

We prefer to graze on the grass of the ocean for a full eight hours at a time.

We're herbivores. We think that munching on little fishies is a crime."

"Your life sounds so perfect: eating and chilling until it gets dark."

"Our existence would be without fault if wasn't for the tiger shark.

That stripy mean old razor-tooth likes to bite us on the bum

And once it's got the taste, it doesn't stop till it's eaten every last crumb.

We've lost so many siblings to this sixteen foot long menace:

Beryl, Trevor, Chloe, Matilda, Ralph and dear old Dennis."

"I'm sorry for your loss," I said, "and thank you for the tea,

But I'm afraid I'm must run now because I've a date with a mermaidy manatee".