Derivation

Derivation in terms of linguistics is the process by which new words are formed from a root word. For example slowness, slowly, slowed and slowing are all derivatives (derived from) the word 'slow'. An affix (an extra bit) is added to the word to change the tense, mood, gender etcetera of the word. Affixes can be prefixes (bits at the beginning of the word, e.g agree to disagree), suffixes (bits at the end of the word, e.g jump to jumping) or infixes (bits in the middle of words - these are rare in English and exist mainly in slang, e.g saxophone to saxomaphone). Derivation can also occur without a change in the actual word - for example badger (noun: black and white ultra-cool animal) has an unchanging derivative: badger (verb: to repeatedly ask for something in an annoying way). In this case, it is said that a null morpheme is affixed to the root word.

Mrs Badger badgered Mr Badger about late-night badge-collecting. Badger has four derivatives (badger (verb), badgers, badgered, badgering). Surely it is time that other animals get the treatment that badgers have been so fortunate to receive and have null morphemes affixed to them. Here are some suggestions:

Crocodile (verb): to bite someone's lips when kissing.

Koala (verb): To eat without anyone else noticing.

Penguin (verb): To be the first person to wear shorts at the merest hint of sunshine.

Raccoon (adjective): to look beautiful, but smell like a dustbin.

Here they are in action:

Ralph and Cecilia's relationship seemed to be going well. Cecilia didn't mind the fact that Ralph raccooned - no one could tell in photos and Ralph ignored the fact that Cecilia crocodiled him when he only wanted a quick peck as he walked out the door. However, things took a turn for the worse when they went out for dinner on a cold January night. Ralph penguined out the door and Cecilia bit her lip, keeping silent her desire that Ralph would dress a little more smartly for the occasion. When dinner was served Cecilia koalaed it down in a literal blink of Ralph's eye and Ralph had the embarrassment of eating alone while Cecilia glanced every thirty seconds at her watch. When they got home, they were finally frank about the way they felt about each other's odd habits and that was the last conversation they ever had.