Sunday 8 August 2010

Dr Zeuss

My wife Helen went to a car boot sale this morning and returned with a miniature table and chair set, a toy aeroplane, a plastic wheelbarrow and a fistful of books including Dr Zeuss' debut work, The Cat in the Hat, released an incredible 53 years ago. Reading it to a book-hungry Jarvis has inspired me to imitate his work and create my own fast-paced rhyming narrative about an animal in an item of clothing. Protagonist options include the Macaque in the Anorak, the Fly in the Tie, the Rat in the Cravat, but I have settled for the Goat in the Coat.

Here goes:

The evening arrived and
The sun said goodbye.
"It's bedtime," was heard as
The moon rose in the sky.
The news was unwelcome;
Wide-eyed Ned wore a frown.
Jarvis hid his dismay
But he still felt quite down.
Once tucked up in bed,
The lights were turned out.
Misery flooded the room;
Fun was no longer about.
A dull night of nothing
Was all that lay ahead.
As the boys lay there
Sleepless bored and in bed.
Then rat-a-tat-tat
Was heard at the door.
Were they dreaming?
No, this was real, for sure.
Then in burst a goat
Wearing a crimson fur coat;
Clearing his voice
He uttered from his throat,
"I'm fantastically brilliant
I'm the Goat in the Coat,
I'm the best in the business,
Though I don't like to gloat.
I'm here to take you
For a night on a boat
Battling sea monsters
While bobbing along afloat."
Ned looked at Jarvis
And Jarvis looked at Ned.
Indecision was brief;
They jumped out of bed.
The Goat in the Coat
Had a strong notion
That nights weren't for sleep -
He led them to the ocean
Where they jumped in the boat
And sailed out to sea.
This was probably wreckless
I'm sure you'll agree.
No health and safety would let
Two toddlers in a boat
In the middle of the channel,
Their guardian, a goat.
The Goat in a Coat said,
"There's a battle to fight"
Ned looked a bit nervous.
The words gave Jar a fright.
Then out of the water
A scaly green monster rose.
It had deadly sharp claws
And shot bullets from its nose.
The twins were shocked
And momentarily froze.
The Goat in the Coat
Gave Jarvis an spear.
And Ned got an axe
He said, "There's nothing to fear".
Ned hacked at the monster's
Gargantuan neck.
Jarvis threw the spear skywards
From the tiny deck.
While the monster's flailing limbs
Threatened a wreck.
The spear hurtled up
Then hung in the sky
Then rushed downwards
Into the monster's eye.
Ned spotted his chance
And sent the axe through
The last few neck tendons.
The blood that spurted was blue.
Victory was theirs.
The Goat gave a cheer
And then said, "Oh no,
Morning is near".
He grabbed the oars
And paddled like crazy.
The sky was lightening,
Turning greyish and hazy.
The Goat in the Coat
Rushed the boys home
And said, "I'll be back
After my holiday in Rome."
And as the goat fled
With a clickety-clack
Mum and Dad arose
From their slumbersome sack.
"Good morning," Mum said
"Have you boys slept well?"
They looked at each other
And knew they never would tell.

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