Deal or No Deal

In my last blog I made an offhand criticism of Deal or No Deal and received a torrent of uproarious anger at my belittlement of the show from my readership: actually one person asked, "What's wrong with Deal or No Deal?" And so I find myself critiquing the show which actually persuaded me to linger at Channel 4 a while back, but now receives a quick channel flick if I ever happen to stumble across Noel Edmonds' beardy grinning face.

"What is wrong with it?" you ask (singular). Well, it's not so much the total lack of skill required to play the game that frustrates me, but the constant personification of chance which grates. Noel champions the abandonment of mathematical probabilities and acts as if a mystical force is dictating the events inside the television studio. I don't know why this should annoy me but it does. The silent smug banker also deserves a beating. I once played the Deal or No Deal board game and the lengthy dull procedure which resulted in defeat for me further hardened my distaste for the red box lottery. Another factor is that it follows the magical Countdown, which despite its new aquamarine garish blue set design and lack of the legends Richard Whiteley and Carol Vorderman, still manages to be watchable and wonderful in its simplicity. This is not Deal or No Deal's fault, but the contrast highlights its turdishness in comparison to Countdown's fragrant beauty. I once got to the point of filling in an application form for Countdown, but failed to go further. Perhaps I will revisit this ambition. Anyway, I hope the original question is somewhat answered.

Perhaps it is nostalgia, but quiz shows from my childhood seem masterfully superior compared to today's twaddlesome banality (Coundown is exempt, having been around for 28 of my 30 years on earth). Here are my top five from yesteryear:

1. Going for Gold - the multicultural quiz show which involved a lot of waving.

2. Blockbusters - the simple joy of waiting for someone to say, "I'll have a P please Bob".

3. Bullseye - the regularity of failure made this show beautiful: "Here's what you could have won."

4. Supermarket Sweep - riding a trolley is one of my favourite activities and SS featured trolley mayhem aplenty.

5. The Crystal Maze - pretty much Indiana Jones featuring a bald nutty bloke (Richard O'Brien) and occasionally a weird mystical relative of his.