D Hold Nerve in Shoot-Out to Reach Quarter-finals

The Letter D 2 (Donovan (pen) 63, Villa 63) The Letter G 2 (Higuain 33, Gyan 93) - The Letter D win 5-4 on penalties

The D Team: David James, Paulo Da Silva, Martin Demichelis, Daisuke Matsui, Nigel De Jong, Angel Di Maria, Clint Dempsey, Diego Perez, Landon Donovan, David Villa, Diego Forlan.

  The Letter D held their nerve in the penalty shoot-out to book their place in the quarter-finals and send The Letter G back to the lonely land of gnomes, giants and grasshoppers. It was The Letter G though who started the stronger and they took the lead after a calamitous piece of defending from Paulo Da Silva. A lapse in concentration saw him present the ball to Gonzalo Higuain. The potent marksman snaffled up the present and rounded David James before popping the ball into the empty net. 

  The Letter D huffed and puffed, but repeatedly found themselves frustrated in front of goal until a dramatic minute 63rd minute in which they scored two goals. The first came from the penalty spot after Clint Dempsey was bundled over. Landon Donovan picked up the ball and calmly slotted the ball home, off the post. Not even sixty seconds had passed when David Villa found himself in space inside the box. His first effort was parried, but he kept his composure and flicked the ball over the prostrate keeper and off the kindly woodwork once more.

  The D Team thought they were home and dry, but deep into injury time a long ball caught out the D-defence and Asomoah Gyan took advantage, out-muscling Martin Demichelis before hammering the ball beyond James. 

  A cagey period of extra-time ensued with both teams seemingly happy to offer up their Alphabet World Cup future to the penalty gods. Spotless spotkicks from The Letter D put Steven Gerrard in the unenviable position of having to score to keep the letter G in the competition. With James grinning like a gibbon, Gerrard's nerve failed and his weak penalty was easily palmed away by veteran Dave. The Letter K await The Letter D in the quarter-finals.

Second Round Results

The Letter D 2-2 The Letter G (The Letter D win 5-4 on penalties)

The Letter B 0-2 The Letter H

The Letter K 2-1 The Letter P

The Letter L 6-4 The Letter M

The Letter T 4-1 The Letter U

The Letter V 2-2 The Letter R (The Letter V win 2-1 on penalties)

Own Goals 0-0 Players' Names Who Start and Begin With the Same Letter (Players' Names... win 1-0 on penalties)

The Letter Y 0-2 Players' Names That Appear in the Dictionary

Quarter-final Draw

The Letter D vs The Letter K

The Letter H vs The Letter L

The Letter T vs Players' Names Who Start and Begin With the Same Letter

The Letter V vs Players' Names That Appear in the Dictionary

Duffel Coats

I have owned a couple of duffel coats in my time: a nice deep green one that I wore in my early 20s and a chocolate brown one that currently hangs on my peg, but rarely gets worn because it is a little too big for me. I am not the only person to don the duffel however; many have gone before me. These are the top ten style icons that have chosen the thick Belgian wool to keep themselves warm and looking good simultaneously.

1. Paddington Bear

The Peruvian bear's decision to leave home with a battered suitcase, an outlandish hat, wellington boots and a duffel coat was controversial, especially when the wind was up, but whether Paddi wears his pale blue or deep red number, he always looks like the King of Bears who would have Winnie the Pooh in a fight any day of the week.

2. Field Marshal Bernard Montgomery

The British general hit the headlines when he led his army to victory in the Battle of El Alamein in the Second World War. His distinctive duffel coat distinguished him from his troops and earned him the nickname 'Monty Coat'.

3. Michael Foot

The leader of the Labour Party between 1980-1983 received much criticism for choosing to wear his duffel coat to the Cenotaph on Remembrance Sunday. People thought his informality showed a lack of respect, but The Sunday Times appreciates his individualism: "Foot's duffel... represents a time when politicians weren't afraid to be themselves". In the modern era of media spin and personal stylists we may never see the duffel coat creating static electricity on Westminster coat-pegs again.

4. Liam Gallagher

Liam's apish swagger was completed by the duffel coat whipping around his knees. The Oasis frontman has recently started his own fashion label: Pretty Green Black, and the duffel coat is an expensive potential purchase.

5. Britney Spears

Britney's loose sandy-brown number is for days when she wants to communicate disaffected nonchalance to the paparazzi, which is surely a better look than desperate fragility.

6. Cheryl Cole

Cheryl's snugly-fitting pink coat has reopened the duffel-door to the modern British woman.

7. Dudley Moore

Cuddly Dudley has been known to wear a duffel beneath his unkempt mop.

8. Alex Kapranos

Lead singer and guitarist of Franz Ferdinand's chestnut brown number is perhaps an attempt to find a place for himself in the rock and roll duffel dynasty.

9. Jonathan Creek

Jonathan Creek has only ever been a programme that I will watch as a last option, but whilst the plot delivers a merely watchable hour, the duffel coat that clings to his back cements the detective's spot in the style list.

10. Bing Crosby

Duffel coated musicians are not a modern thing: Bing and Perry Como caused kerfuffles with their duffels in the 1930s and 40s. 

DangerMouse

Why are there so many cartoon mice on our screens? Mice are the only animal to feature twice in the Top Ten Most Famous Cartoon/Comic Characters, with Mickey coming in at number 2 and Jerry sharing 5th with his hapless pursuant Tom. Whilst these two rodents have made it on to the Celebrity A List, they are not the only mice that have enjoyed time in the limelight: Mighty Mouse, Stuart Little, Fingermouse, Itchy, Maisy, Reepicheep, Speedy Gonzales, Three Blind Mice and of course DangerMouse have all held a special place in our hearts, which is a pretty staggering achievement for an animal which is largely seen as an irritating pest. Surely no other animal has, despite being disliked by the masses, held such a position in society as the not-so humble mouse.

  Troy Patterson, a movie reviewer, has a few theories on this. Firstly, he reckons that mice lend themselves to anthropomorphism. We assume that they are jaunty, fun-loving and prone to outrageous behaviour, and thus they fit well into cartoons which have larger-than-life stereotypical characters. He also reckons that they are a symbol of the misfit in society, another popular character in stories, and whilst this probably fits with the rat persona more easily, it is somewhat true of the mouse also. 

  DangerMouse never tempted me over to ITV, but he seems to have attracted many and become a cultural icon, and according to Troy, it is his mousiness that meant he was always likely to be a hit. 

D Smash A to Reach Second Round

D 4 (Defoe 22, Demichelis 77, Di Natale 81, Donovan 92) A 0

D Team: Demerit, Da Silva, Demichelis, Durica, Dempsey, Diarra, Diaby, Di Natale, Di Maria, Donovan, Defoe

The Letter D coincidentally found themselves in exactly the same position as the only team in the World Cup beginning with the letter D: Denmark. Both teams faced their rivals for qualification knowing that only a victory would ensure progress to the next round, but while the Danes stuttered and stumbled out of the competition, The Letter D comprehensively beat The Letter A, a team in disarray after star striker Nicolas Anelka was sent home for saying naughty words.

  After a slow start, Jermaine Defoe settled D nerves with his volley into the roof of the net after 22 minutes. This was the striker's first start of the tournament and D fans will hope that he has cemented a place in the team for the Second Round.

  While the D Team dominated possession for much of the game, it wasn't until the 77th minute that they caused finger-nails to be left alone. Martin Demichelis settled nerves when he rose high to meet a header from an inswinging corner from Angel Di Maria. The header didn't hit the back of the net, but the ball returned kindly to his feet and he smashed the ball home to send the D fans into delirium. 

  With A heads looked into the abyss of a first round exit, D took advantage with Antonio Di Maria popping a sumptuous lob over the goal-keeper's head in the 81st minute and Landon Donovan scoring the goal that ensured that D would finish as group winners when he finished from close range. 

  The Letter B's surprise 1-0 defeat to The Letter C meant that the D Team avoid top scorers of the tournament so far, The Letter H, and face the Letter G in Round Two instead, who drew all three of their group games.

Group ABCD

1. The Letter D: 6 points, +3 goal difference

2. The Letter B: 6 pts, +2 gd

3. The Letter C: 3 pts, -1 gd

4. The Letter A: 3 pts: -4 gd

The Second Round Draw

The Letter D vs The Letter G

The Letter B vs The Letter H

The Letter K vs The Letter P

The Letter L vs The Letter M

The Letter T vs The Letter U

The Letter V vs The Letter R

Own Goals vs Players' Names Who Start and Begin With the Same Letter

The Letter Y vs Players' Names Who Appear in the Dictionary

Rule Changes for the Knock-out Stages

To avoid dull 0-0 draws, now that half the players have left the tournament, first names and surnames now count towards a letter's total goals in a game. So, Diegos, Davids and Dereks now all qualify to play for The Letter D. However, a player cannot appear in two games, so the surname takes priority (David Villas would play for The Letter V if they faced The Letter D). If the match goes to penalties, the team whose players score and save the most penalties in shoot-outs will win. If this brings about a tie, then goals scored earlier in the competition will decide the game. If this is still a tie, then lots will be drawn. Players' Names Who Appear in the Dictionary also get the advantage of getting goals from players whose first names appear in the dictionary. Own Goals and Alliterative Names remain under the same constraints.

Dusty Doorknobs

Dusty doorknobs

Fusty jaw-globs

Rusty floor throbs

Gusty snore-slobs

Musty bore-jobs

Deafening Shrimp

I was called upon to cover a Science lesson at school today. My scientific knowledge doesn't extend beyond the D grade I achieved at GCSE and most of that knowledge (although guessing scientific words isn't really knowledge) is now forgotten. I took the Year 7 class to a computer room so that they could research hearing in the animal kingdom. Elephants have the biggest ears; starfish don't have any ears; grasshoppers have ears on their knees were some of the interesting facts that were found out, but the most interesting of facts was about an incredible little creature that I'd never heard of before: the pistol shrimp.

  The shrimp, which only grows to between 1-2 inches, has a unique and utterly brilliant way of catching its prey. It snaps its claw, generating a high-speed vapour bubble (the metaphorcial bullet from its pistol claw) that generates acoustic pressure. The bubble flies through the water at 60 miles per hour and releases a sound that reaches 218 decibels which is louder than a volcano's eruption - Krakatoa registered at 180 db - and more than the human ear can sustain. This makes it the loudest animal on earth. I was expecting a trumpeting elephant or a roaring lion, not a tiny little shrimp that swims around at the bottom of the ocean. The purpose of this aquatic racket is to kill small edible fish who cannot handle the pressure level created by the sound. The amazing facts about Shrimpy don't stop there though: when the bubble collapses it reaches temperatures of 4,700 degrees centigrade. The surface of the sun is estimated to be around 5,500 degrees, so this is pretty hot stuff. Fortunately this super-powered fish seems to pose no danger to humans although I wouldn't be too keen on going for a swim with one.

D Humbled by The Letter B

Scroll down a bit and you'll see that The Letter D made an impressive start to The Alphabet World Cup, defeating The Letter C 2-1. I have been following the World Cup from two perspectives, one as an obsessive football fan and the second as a studier of surnames. After each round of games I complete a fixture list, adding up the goals scored by each letter and seeing how they get on against each other. These last few days, The Letter D have been involved in a pulsating clash. Here's what happened:

The Letter D 2 (Donovan 48, Drogba 79) The Letter B 4 (Birsa 13, Bendtner 33, Blanco 79 (pen), Bradley 82)

The D Team: Dikgacoi, Di Maria, Demel, Danny, Diaby, De Jong, Duda, Dempsey, Donovan, Drogba, Dindane. 

The Letter B secured qualification to the knock-out stages of The World Cup with a free-flowing attacking display of football. The difficult-to-keep-out-of-orbit jabulani was expertly dispatched into the top corner by Slovenia midfielder Valter Birsa, when he found space 25-yards from goal to open the scoring. Critics pointed to The Letter D's unusual tactics of playing without a goalkeeper, but news from the camp suggests that, despite criticism and apparent disharmony amongst goal-keepers beginning with the letter D, they will continue with this tactic in their final group game.

  The Letter D were given a huge helping hand by the referee when Valon Behrami was harshly sent off for throwing an elbow in the direction of two Letter D defenders, but replays suggest that the elbow-chin connection was unintentional. The B Team quickly recovered however, with Nicklas Bendtner sliding in from close range to double their lead.

  After the break The Letter D pulled a goal back when Landon Donovan smashed the ball past Miso Brecko from a tight angle. The game was teetering on a cliche when an incredible four minutes of football produced three goals. Didier Drogba, playing with a broken arm, guided a header into the bottom corner just seconds before the referee punished Angel Di Maria for a rashly clattering veteran striker Cuauhtemoc Blanco, who became the oldest player to score this tournament when, after dusting himself down, he guided the ball into the bottom corner from the penalty spot.

  Michael Bradley's powerful half-volley into the roof of the net in the 82nd minute finished the game as a contest and left The Letter D in a nerve-jangling position leading into the final game. The Letter A's 1-0 victory over the Letter C, thanks to a goal from Hugo Almeida, means that The D Team will only progress if their win their final game against C.

  Elsewhere in The Alphabet World Cup, The Letter H narrowly beat The Letter F 5-4 in a thrilling encounter with Gonzalo Higuain scoring the first World Cup hat-trick since 2002, when Pauleta hit three goals. Incidentally, it has been 72 years since a player with a surname beginning with the letter D has scored a hat-trick: Leonidas Da Silva (pictured) was the man, scoring three against Poland. Oh, for a such a prolific D in the modern game. 

Group ABCD

1. The Letter B: 6 points, +3 goal difference

2. The Letter A: 3 pts, 0 gd

3. The Letter D: 3 pts, -1 gd

4. The Letter C, 0 pts, -2 gd