Saturday, 7 August 2021

A Season with Saltdean - FA Cup Magic

 The FA Cup is where football started for me. As a nine-year-old, the complexities of a league season perplexed me, but the simple purity of a knock-out competition excited me and in 1989, I sat in my front room and cheered on Liverpool playing a poignant final against Merseyside rivals, Everton in the shadow the Hillsborough disaster. I’d chosen John Barnes as my favourite player. He’d been one of the first Panini stickers that I’d unwrapped and his smiling face beamed back at me. It could have been Roy Wegerle or Francis Benali that emerged from that packet, but thankfully, it was Barnes and for the next few years, he was a masterful player, the driving force behind Liverpool’s excellence and on that late 80s May day, he was important as Liverpool finally dispatched Everton 3-2 after extra time.


Years on, it was the early rounds of the cup that fascinated me and I think the first FA Cup match I ever attended was a trip to Canvey Island to see Brighton scrap out a 2-2 draw. Despite the fact that an under-achieving Brighton flirting with their very existence had absolutely no chance of reaching the final didn’t mean that the match didn’t carry the magic of the cup, the link between this First Round fixture and the Wembley showpiece giving the match a glittery glow.


Today, I went back even further, to the Extra Preliminary Round. 348 teams were competing up and down the country, playing in simple settings in front of modest crowds, but the glittery glow that captured my nine-year-old heart was at each one - just thirteen rounds from the showpiece final. My location, of course, was Saltdean United’s Hill Park. My reignited relationship with Saltdean had started at this stage last season when the Tigers had started the season off with defeat at the hands of Eastbourne Town. This time round, they faced Frimley Green who were making their way down from Surrey. The winner of the game would scoop £1,125 prize money (the eventual winner gets £1.8 million), but more importantly the magical hope lingers on for whoever would triumph. It would take a club six consecutive victories to get to the First Round Proper where they might face a league side and eight victories to be in with a chance of playing one of the Premier League big boys. The best Saltdean have ever done is four victories, taking them to them Third Qualifying Round in 2001. Few sides from tier nine make it all the way to the First Round Proper, but last season, Skelmersdale United, from the same level as Saltdean, made it all the way through the six matches before losing to League Two side, Harrogate Town. Could this season be Saltdean’s turn? They’re in the strongest place they’ve ever been, so now is as good a time as any for magic-time at Hill Park.


First things first though, they needed to overcome Frimley Green in the oblique August rain. I invited a friend and his son along for the game and it was the son’s first ever football game and he was properly excited, asking his dad when the game was starting on repeat four hours before kick-off. Would he be catch the magic? 


Saltdean delivered exactly what a seven-year-old needs at their first football game with an early goal, Reece Hallard climbing high to head home, adding to his goals from midweek. Shortly afterwards, Tom Caplin was clumsily bundled over in the box and the referee pointed to the spot. The game could have got away from the Green at this point, but Callum Sauders’ penalty, whilst struck well, was at what is always described by commentators as a “good height for the keeper” and it was batted away and this shifted the tide of the game and as Frimley enjoyed a spell of pressure, my children and my friend’s child took advantage of a break in the rain to climb the bank to the children’s pitches situated slightly higher up the valley. They missed Frimley shooting themselves in the foot and feet are pretty important when it comes to football. Their captain, Bradley Pegg, flew into a attempted tackle with two missile-like feet. He made contact with the ball which was what the Frimley bench repeatedly shouted, but this didn’t prevent the referee from applying the rules and whipping out a red card in a fabulously flamboyant manner. He charged into the melee like a male peacock keen to flash its feathers to any females in the vicinity. He was all arms, synchronising his limbs for a brief fluttery motion before aiming one to delve into his pocket and produce a flash of red. It was only 1-0, but Saltdean had a man advantage as well as the wind and the rain behind them for the second half.


Half-time allowed the children to scamper onto the football pitch, a treat that won’t be available in every round of the cup although it would be lovely, wouldn’t it?, if at half-time in the FA Cup final at Wembley, all the children were allowed to scamper about on the hallowed turf, re-enacting what they’d just sent their heroes do.


The meteorological, numerical and to be honest, footballing ability advantage proved to be more markedly decisive in the second half. Reece Hallard lashed in a second, Trevor McCreadie slapped it into the top corner for a third and Callum Saunders made up for his penalty miss by completing a comfortable 4-0 victory.


And so, on we go, beyond the Extra Preliminary Round to the Preliminary Round where we face Sheppey United and I’m ruing my holiday booking which not only means I miss the next round of the cup, but also means I miss four other Saltdean matches in this packed early-season schedule. But I’ll be back and hopefully, Saltdean will have continued to have scored freely and not conceded in my absence.


Wednesday, 4 August 2021

A Season with Saltdean - Let's Start Again

I have unfinished business with Saltdean United. Last season, with the doors of Brighton and Hove Albion’s Amex Stadium closed to me, I went in search of live football and was drawn back to an occasional haunt of my teenage years: Saltdean’s idyllic Hill Park. In the late ’90s, I got a call from the Sports Argus in the middle of the week, telling me where they wanted me that Saturday. Although Saltdean involved two bus rides - a three-hour round trip from my home on the Knoll Estate - it was still my favourite place to go. The football was good as they fought for the Sussex County League First Division, eventually missing out by three points to Burgess Hill Town. It wasn’t just the football though. The valley setting gives the ground a unique and calming feel. Some grounds feel almost oppressive and claustrophobic while there is none of that at Hill Park with the matches feeling like they’re in a grand and natural arena overlooked by sheep gambolling in the fields. Before the game starts, I sometimes recline on the slope reading a paperback with the sounds of nature combined with the thud of footballs being thwacked around the pitch in preparation for what is to come. What could be better? 

That runners-up spot Saltdean achieved back in 1999 is the highest the Tigers have ever finished and last season, it looked like history was about to be made. They’d started the season sluggishly and erratically, scrapping out a couple of wins, but dropping points in drab draws as well. Then one day, I turned up and the team had been dramatically overhauled. It was as if the old players had evaporated into the air like at the end of Avengers: Infinity War and in their place, some superhumans had emerged. I drove over to East Preston with low expectations unaware of the transformation, but those expectations were rapidly fertilised with Miracle-Gro as Saltdean ran out 8-0 winners, went on an unbeaten ten-game run and climbed to the summit of the Premier Division. What could go wrong? Well, the answer’s pretty obvious. It’s the thing that has blighted all our lives for the last seventeen months.


The second lockdown was announced and it looked highly improbable that football at this level would continue. As with all the government announcements, everyone knew what was coming well in advance and with this knowledge, Saltdean took to the pitch of Hill Park for the last time against Eastbourne Town back in March. Their talismanic striker, Trevor McCreadie was so frustrated that he took it out on a defender’s ankles and the referee flourished his red card. It was a symbolic moment. We were all being shown the red card by COVID-19, all of us banished from the pitches we love. Trevor trudged from the pitch and we trudged to our homes. 


And so the season was curtailed, Saltdean having only completed fourteen of their games and though they were top, there was no title, no celebrations, just a long wait, but now that wait is over and the Tigers have roared into the season, devouring the opposition as if they are legless antelopes. On Saturday, they dispatched Uckfield 3-0 at their place. I had a 60th birthday party to attend and had to rely on Twitter updates to follow the game. Following County League football is only really meant to be done in person, but those three little pings on my phone that punctuated the party gave me confidence for the season ahead.


Last night was the real deal though. I was back in the valley, a bar of Cadbury’s Whole Nut clutched in my hands, an excitement bubbling away in my heart. Saltdean’s team hasn’t changed much from last season, but there were three new players in the starting eleven, Callum Saunders playing just off the striker, having recovered from a lengthy injury, Tom Caplin, a composed and classy presence in the centre of midfield and George Taggart, a slippery winger. Let me try a brief bit of insightful football analysis, adopt a pretence that I am able to discuss football knowledgeably rather than emotionally. The centre of midfield was a position in constant flux last season with many players dipping their toe into this most challenging of positions. I often felt that someone who could combine the combativeness of a gladiator with the soft touch of a fine artist would complete this Saltdean team and last night, Caplin made me wonder if he was the Marcus Aurelius/Claude Monet hybrid we’d been waiting for. He showed an ability to crunch into challenges in an uncompromising fashion and combined that with an artist’s creativity and finesse when the ball was at his feet earning him a deserved Man of the Match bottle of bubbly.


The opponents on a humid, although rapidly chilling, Tuesday evening were Hassocks and it was quickly clear that Saltdean were going to be utterly dominant, keeping the ball for long periods of possession and snaffling it away from Hassocks with quick and effective pressing whenever their opponents briefly had it. They took the lead early when Reece Hallard drove the ball low through a crowded penalty box after it had pinged off the crossbar from a corner. Hallard doubled the lead with an overhead kick, again being the quickest to react to a loose ball in the area. 


At half-time, Trevor emerged, taking to the pitch at Hill Park (in a competitive fixture) for the first time since that depressing day back in March and the goals continued to flow. Caplin was ready to put the finishing touches to the masterpiece he’d been creating all game and swung the ball into the top corner from the edge of the box. Then it was Trev’s turn, rifling the ball unerringly into the bottom corner. Kieron Pamment, scorer of two goals at Uckfield at the weekend, added to his tally for the season, curling in an effort from just inside the box and then it was back to Trev to complete his brace - his fifth for the club in less than dozen appearances. 6-0!


What a start to the season! Nine in goals in two games, none conceded and back at the top of the table again. And on Saturday… it’s the glory of the FA Cup - the Extra Preliminary Round starts at Hill Park at 3pm. 

Tuesday, 29 December 2020

My Year in Lists

Books read from around the world

At the beginning of the year, I decided that I would attempt to read a book from every nation in the world. There was no way I was going to complete it in one year - it’s more of a ten-year challenge - but I’ve made a steady start. If you fancy reading any of them, Embers was beautiful; Wolf Totem was wonderful; Shantaram was so rich and so full and Germinal was bleak and brilliant.

Nostalgia by Mircea Cartarescu (Romania)

An Elegy for Easterly by Petina Gappah (Zimbabwe)

Jock of the Bushveld by Jaroslav Hasek (Czech Republic)

Embers by Sandor Marai (Hungary)

A Letter for the King by Tonke Dragt (Netherlands)

Germinal by Emile Zola (France)

The Eternal Son by Cristavao Tezza (Brazil)

Madame by Antoni Libera (Poland)

Milkman by Anna Burns (Northern Ireland)

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi (Nigeria)

I Bought a Mountain by Thomas Firbank (Wales)

If This is a Man by Primo Levi (Italy)

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky (Russia)

The Tin Drum by Gunter Grass (Germany)

Pigeon English by Stephen Kelman (England)

Petals of Blood by Ngugi Wa Thiong’o (Kenya)

Wolf Totem by Jiang Rong (China)

The Salmon Who Dared to Leap Higher by Ahn Do-hyun (South Korea)

Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson (America)

Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts (Australia)

Green Days by the River by Michael Anthony (Trinidad and Tobago)

Saturday Bloody Saturday by Alastair Campbell (Scotland)

The Castle of my Skin by George Lamming (Barbados)

Small Island by Andrea Levy (Jamaica)

Fear and Trembling by Amelie Nothomb (Belgium)


Books about Christian Theology

Shortly before lockdown, I went to a discussion group at my church that inspired me to take more time with books about God, so most mornings, I’ve read a chapter of one of these and been encouraged and got my day off to a good start. I particularly recommend Looking for God Knows What, Think Again and 7 Women

Looking for God Knows What by Donald Miller

To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller

Think Again by Jared Melinger

Rooted by Edward Rhodes

Prayer by Tim Keller

Confronting Christianity by Rebecca McLaughlin

Crossing the Divide by Owen Hylton

The Beauty of Jesus by Clifford Pond

None Like You by Jen Wilkin

The Circle-Maker by Mark Batterson

King’s Cross by Tim Keller

Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund

7 Women by Eric Metals

Can I Really Trust the Bible? by Barry Cooper

A Year with C.S. Lewis by C.S. Lewis

Is This It? by Rachel Jones

The God Who is There by Francis Shaeffer


Books read to my children

I started reading chapter-books to my boys when they were four or five I think and thought that at some stage, it would peter out. They’re twelve now and we still enjoy sitting and reading together, setting up their dreams with adventures. What Not To Do If You Turn Invisible has been the highlight and has inspired me to start writing again.

Russian Roulette by Anthony Horowitz

A Letter for the King by Tonke Dragt

The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett

The Secrets of the Wild Wood by Tonke Dragt

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

Nightshade by Anthony Horowitz

Incomparable by Andrew Wilson

A Boy and a Bear on a Boat by Dave Shelton

What Not To Do If You Turn Invisible by Ross Welford 

The Person Controller by David Baddiel

Fuzzy Mud by Louis Sachar


Graphic Novels

I love graphic novels and Gene Luen Yang is my absolute favourite. I read the autobiographical Dragon Hoops and within it, he was given the role to be the writer for Superman and so I followed him there and wasn’t disappointed.

Dragon Hoops by Gene Luen Yang

Rusty Brown by Chris Ware

Superman Smashes the Clan by Gene Luen Yang and Gurihiru


Other Books

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Station Zero by Philip Reeve


Board Games

Lockdown meant the Board Game World Cup in my house and these were the games that featured. Agricola is the greatest by far, but if you want something simpler, Camel Up and Colt Express and really fun games.

Agricola

Bookcase

BN1

Camel Up

Carcassonne

Careers

Codenames

Colt Express

Dominion

Monopoly

Powergrid

Qwirkle

The Really Nasty Horse-Racing Game

Risk

Scrabble

Settlers of Catan

Stone Age

Ticket to Ride

Tsuro

On the Underground


Card/Dice Games

Cards Against Humanity (Family Edition)

Hearts

Ligretto 

Monopoly Deal 

Perudo 

Pit 

Qwixx 

6 Nimmit

Sky Jo

Skull King

Sushi Go

Throw, Throw Burito 

You’ve Got Crabs


Films watched with my family

During lockdown, my boys and I treated ourselves to a Marvel film each Friday, so they dominate the early list. Antman is my favourite of the Marvel characters and Dangal, a Bollywood film about wrestling, is superb.

Ironman 2

The Lion King

Thor

Avengers Assemble

Iron Man 3

Thor: The Dark World

Captain America: Winter Soldier

Avengers: Age of Ultron

Antman

Captain America: Civil War

Doctor Strange

Spiderman: Homecoming

Thor: Ragnarok

Avengers: Infinity War

Antman and the Wasp

Captain Marvel

Avengers: End Game

Spiderman: Far From Home

The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind

Dangal

Coin Heist

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

Zikkomon

Jumanji: The Next Level

Enola Holmes

Happy Gilmore

Home Alone

Ready, Player One

TV Series watched with my family

Race Across the World

Alex Rider: Point Blanc

Gladiators (1997)

The Letter for the King

Task Master

Red Dwarf


Films I’ve watched

Creating this list made me realise that I watch very few films on my own, but the limitations of not being able to leave my classroom during lunchtime at school and a friend’s recommendation of Bollywood films means that four of the five films I’ve watched have all been Bollywood. If you’re going to watch one, go for Lagaan (or Dangal).

Lagaan

Yesterday

Pahuna

Haider

Three Idiots 

TV Series I’ve watched

Gavin and Stacey

Extras

Alan Partridge: Mid-Morning Matters

Liar

Noughts and Crosses

The Nest

Quiz

Kenny

The Last Dance

The Stranger

Sunderland ’Til I Die

The Tiger King

Safe

The English Game

Anthony

Peter Kay’s Car Share

Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing

Motherland

Life

The Salisbury Poisonings

Friday Night Dinner


Running

Lockdown and limitations of many activities meant I ran a lot more this year, topping 800 miles. Next year, I’d love to hit 1,000.

January: 39.2 miles

February: 39.4 miles

March: 60.9 miles

April: 84.5 miles

May: 116.5 miles

June: 109.9 miles

July: 117 miles

August: 82.7 miles

September: 36.2 miles

October: 26.9 miles

November: 64.9 miles

December: 31.7 miles (so far)


Football matches attended

Three draws and then a depressing defeat to Palace started the year off and then Brighton matches were behind closed doors, so I went down the road to Saltdean and have enjoyed their excellent start to the season.

Brighton 1-1 Chelsea

Brighton 1-1 Aston Villa

Brighton 1-1 Watford

Brighton 0-1 Crystal Palace

Saltdean United 1-3 Eastbourne Town

Steyning Town 1-0 Saltdean United

Saltdean United 2-2 Pagham

East Preston 0-8 Saltdean United

Wick 0-2 Saltdean United

Saltdean United 2-1 Broadbridge Heath

Little Common 1-5 Saltdean United

Saltdean United 3-1 Epsom and Ewell

Saltdean United 2-2 Deal Town (2-3 on penalties)

Saltdean United 2-2 Eastbourne Town 

Brighton 1-2 Southampton

Saturday, 5 December 2020

A Season with Saltdean II

At the end of October, I wrote the ill-fated words, “Live football is still out there” as I described my adventures with my newly-adopted team, Saltdean United. The live football I had so enjoyed at Hill Park was about to be snatched away from me along with much of life, but before our daily existence was stifled by lockdown, I enjoyed the generous and warm reception my piece of writing received and one last pre-lockdown game, a 3-1 victory over Epsom and Ewell in the First Round of the FA Vase.


The response I received from the people of Saltdean was both warming and genuinely exciting. I’m used to footballers and football teams being pretty inaccessible. I love going to watch Brighton and Hove Albion, but the closest I’ve ever got in recent times to having any connection with the team is a snatched selfie with bit-part player, Ezequiel Schelotto, when he happened to be at Hove Park just after I’d completed a park run. I get that Brighton aren’t going to give me much attention. There’s thousands of us and so I accept my position as spectator - dedicated fan, but a voice amongst thousands. 


One of the wonderful things about following a lower league team is that they have time for their fans - there’s less of them to go round of course, but the more time I spend with Saltdean, the more I feel like they are a club that seek to do things well. They seem to care not just about the football on the pitch, but about being a positive part of the community and their warm reception of me is part of that. More importantly, simple but powerful things like collecting for the local food bank show that although they’re a small club, they want to use their position to do good. 


The first to react to my article was the club themselves through their Twitter feed who expressed their enjoyment of my words and offered me some free merchandise in gratitude: that was a lovely gesture. 


The next to respond was the manager, Bryan O’Toole. When his message popped into my inbox, it was genuinely thrilling. I know that he’s just a normal bloke involved with a local football team, but it felt like I’d received a private message from Jose Mourinho to let me into his managerial secrets. Bryan had read my article and enjoyed it and he was kind enough to fill me in with some of the details that tell the story of Saltdean’s season. I had worked hard to try and remember the names of the players during the early stages of the season and then suddenly, the joint manager and almost the entire team had disappeared and it had been confusing as a supporter, but it had also been welcome as the quality of the football dramatically improved and Saltdean went on a nine-game run of victories. Bryan told me how things needed to change and how most of the squad were let go and he went on a signing spree after a mixed start to the season, bringing in fourteen players in ten days and they were quite some players, individuals who shine at this level. Only two of the original line-up remained, defensive stalwarts, Sean Roddy and Joe Shelley. 


The fact that these two remain is testament to the quality they bring to the side. Simon, my match-day companion, never says Joe Shelley’s name without following it with “best player in the County League.” He is such a wonderfully cultured centre-back, so calm on the ball and has also weighed in with important goals, twice scoring the winner in narrow games. Sean Roddy, likewise, is an excellent ball-playing defender and his delivery from set-pieces has been important for the Tigers this season. He’s a firm favourite with my boys, largely for the moment when he said, “Thank you wee man” to one of my sons when he returned the ball to him quickly for a throw-in.


The responses to my article didn’t stop there. I’d referenced Saltdean’s centre-forward from the ’90s, Matt Allen, in my article and he responded to my writing, telling me that the rumour that Sheffield United were interested in him came to fruition and he did indeed spend a brief time at Brammall Lane. It turned out the current centre-back, Marcus Allen, is his nephew. Current players, players’ parents and even the referee from the game I’d written about responded to my article. 


And then Boris said it was over or at least, over for a month and I had to sit and wait until the Tigers could roar again.


Today, they finally opened their jaws to receive the visit of Deal Town in the FA Vase. On the drive down to the ground, I led my boys in a rendition of “Oh, Trevor McCreadie” and we all anticipated that the talismanic centre-forward would not have let his eye for a goal cloud during the football fast. The temperature over the course of the last month had steadily dropped and I wore a pair of tracksuit bottoms underneath my jeans and went with five layers on my top half. My feet though quickly went numb and repeated shuffling wouldn’t bring any sensation back into my toes, but it was worth it. We were back!


The excitement of the occasion was boosted by the fact that this was a game that could catapult Saltdean to Wembley - four victories and that’s where they’d find themselves and the idea that this little club could be playing in the vast setting of Wembley was so exciting. The game seemed to start well. The opponents Deal Town had come in their own branded bus which seemed quite something for a team playing at this level and alongside their bus wedged into the muddy path leading to Hill Park, they also employed the common and dull footballing tactic of ‘parking the bus’ or perhaps they just struggled for possession and had to sit deep in their own half, hoofing the ball hopefully forward only to see a tide of tigers coming back at them. Somehow though, Deal kept Saltdean out with shots pinging off the bar, repeatedly blocked by defenders’ backsides or flashing across the face of goal. And then, against the run of play, Deal made a rare appearance in the Saltdean half and a cross into the box led to a scruffy goal. 0-1.


There’s plenty of time to go we reassured ourselves and before half-time, Trevor, wonderful Trevor twisted and turned like a politician avoiding a difficult question before smashing the ball high over the keeper to equalise just before the break. One new rule that affects matches is that half-time team-talks take place on the pitch and this means that if I can get my children to quieten down, I can listen in on Bryan’s words of wisdom. I wonder whether he has to edit himself for the wider audience. He told his team that they had the quality to win - of course they did - but warned them that he’d been knocked out of the FA Vase a hundred times and usually to a pretty average team. They had to be at it. They had to go out and win the game and not let it slip away.


The second half was similar to the first although chances seemed more scarce and it felt like we were sliding towards… towards what? Would there be extra time or would it go straight to penalties? I asked the Deal substitutes who were warming up in front of me, but they didn’t know. You’d think it would be an important detail that they should be aware of. They scuttled back to the bench to check and came back to tell me that if scores were level, there would be extra time, but moments later, the referee was beckoned over by the bench and he told them that it would go straight to penalties. Had I initiated this conversation? I don’t know, but thankfully the referee knew how the match should conclude.


Moments later though, it seemed that it was irrelevant anyway. There were just a couple of minutes left on the clock when the gradually improving Deal snatched the lead again. Gutted. We were into the final moments and it seemed like the Vase dream had been cruelly snatched away. We were into added-on time and every time Saltdean poured forward, one of the giant Deal defenders managed to smash it back up the pitch, but the whistle remained unblown and one last chance came when a deflected shot spun away for a corner. Set-piece deliveries had been inconsistent, but this one was good and debutant, Josh Clack, rose high and his header bulleted into the back of the net. As I screamed my joy, a rush of exhilaration destroying the frustration I’d felt moments before, eight-year-old, Eli Green, attending his first Saltdean game, summed it up perfectly: “This is brilliant!” he exclaimed.


And so, penalties it was. Surely, the script was written. A glorious last-minute equaliser was going to lead to shoot-out glory. It would make for a great narrative. The plucky Tigers coming from behind twice before advancing into the Third Round of the Vase. I dearly want to end the article with the happy ending that I felt confident would come, but I don’t get to write the script. As the icy rain fell, Saltdean blasted two penalties over the bar and another came bouncing back off the post. Deal went one better and triumphed 3-2 on penalties and then piled on top of each other joyously while I trudged away with the sense of angry injustice that football fans irrationally feel. Bryan had been knocked out the Vase for the 101st time and again, by a team that were thoroughly beatable.


But… there’s always a chance for fresh hope for football. Saltdean sit top of the table and travel to Horsham YMCA on Tuesday. They’ve never won the Sussex County Premier League before and this year, they have a great chance. 

Tuesday, 27 October 2020

A Season with Saltdean

On Saturday afternoon at three o’ clock, an oblique but gentle rain sprinkled my glasses as I gazed out upon a rectangle of turf, my pulse quickened by the drama that was sure to unfold as Little Common in merlot-red faced my newly adopted side, Saltdean United – The Tigers, playing in their away kit of purple and black stripes (tigers at a fancy-dress party).

In August, while squelching along a muddy track in the Lake District, my friend, Simon spoke to me of his feelings of detached apathy about the upcoming football season. Normally, the football-fast that fans are forced to endure in a non-tournament summer create desperate hunger pangs for the resumption of the sport we love, but this time, with the doors of Brighton and Hove Albion’s Amex Stadium closed to us, the new season felt somehow unreal. I can see the Amex from the window at the top of my stairs, the curve of its roof bursting above the treeline, but when Brighton are playing home games without me, it’s difficult to believe that the match I’m seeing on my television screen is happening just down the road. If I’m not there living and breathing it, it doesn’t quite feel like it exists.

How do I solve this problem? Well, live football is still out there. You just have to plummet down the divisions to Step 3 of non-league football. Step 1 is the Conference, the division below League Two. Below the Conference, there is a National League North and a National League South and that is Step 2. Anything below that is open to fans. As my wellies made pleasant farting noises in the Cumbrian mud, I cast my mind back to think about a team that held a soft spot in my affections and my thoughts immediately went to Saltdean United. In the late ‘90s, for a couple of seasons, I used to report on local County League games for the local paper, The Sports Argus. It was printed on cream paper which I think was a nod to the famous Italian paper, La Gazetto dello Sport. The internet was emerging, but was not yet the place people went to for up to date information in the way they do today and so, the edition of The Sports Argus, delivered to shops on a Saturday evening was, for many, an opportunity to get the scores from local football matches. What you got from me was a one-hundred word match report of the first half of a County league match which I dictated over the phone at half-time and on the back page of the paper would be all the final scores. If a player scored a ‘worldie’ in the second half, it was completely ignored in my match report. I was given £15 for my efforts (15p a word) and got to enjoy a game of football at a time when travelling to watch Brighton home games at Gillingham’s Priestfield Stadium was beyond my means. Saltdean was always my favourite place to go during this time for two reasons. Firstly, the valley setting of the ground gave it a picturesque romance that no other ground got anywhere near. Sheeps cavorting on the sharp inclines all around were a pleasing backdrop to the game in front of me. They were also one of the most exciting teams to watch: playing attractive football and almost always winning. They’re the only club where I can still remember any of their players’ names: Damien Dobbyn, a skilful midfielder who felt like a County League Gazza to me; Jay Lovett, a floppy-haired winger who seemed to hurdle full-backs’ lunging tackles like an impala and the young striker, Matt Allen, who was rumoured to be on his way to Sheffield United but who ended up working under the same roof as me at Legal and General.

Fast-forward to 2020 and my return to watch Saltdean has coincided with another set of players that could challenge for the crown of County League champions, something Saltdean narrowly missed out on back in the ‘90s. My first visit, however, didn’t suggest the team had the potential that they have since shown. In the 2018/19 unfinished season, Saltdean were 18th out of twenty teams when lockdown struck and when I saw them lose their opening game, an FA Cup tie against a much better Eastbourne Town team, 3-1, led by their nuisance of a striker, Trevor McCreadie, I thought that a season of struggle lay ahead and in the first few weeks of the season, there were glimmers of good football, but the games they did win felt pretty fortunate. They were solid defensively, but didn’t offer a great deal going forward and the two wins they found were through penalties, a fortuitous own goal and effective set pieces. Two wins, two draws and a loss in the opening five games though meant that they were in the mix at the top of the league, slightly off the pace of leaders, Horley Town.

I’d been enjoying it nonetheless as had Simon. Tuesday night games, we went to on our own, but on Saturdays, we dragged along our children, three eleven-year-old boys. One Tuesday night, we were in for a few treats as we made the 35-munute journey to East Preston. Treat number one was the wonderful burgers that EP served up. Treat number two was the generosity of their defence. Treat number three was a whole host of new signings that Saltdean had made. There were only a couple of recognisable faces in the starting eleven from the opening day and Saltdean had clearly been ambitious in recruiting some top talent. The two stand-out performers on that night were Reece Hallard, a skilful winger with electric pace and that nuisance from Eastbourne Town, Trevor McCreadie, the kind of player that you love to have in your team for his tenacity, pace and potent finishing, but someone you’d hate to have against you because quite simply, he’d properly wind you up. That night, he got himself into a scuffle over nothing, got the opposition player-manager so furious that he had to restrained and banged in a couple of goals. Hallard scored two that night as well and Saltdean triumphed 8-0 and looked invincible.

A few weeks later, Saltdean have won every match, advancing in the Sussex Senior Cup and FA Vase and clambering to the summit of the table. Reece Hallard, for sure, has been the stand-out player, scoring six goals in six games including the brace at East Preston. Trevor McCreadie managed to get himself sent off the game after East Preston and had been on the side-lines for every game since, but away at Little Common was his long-awaited return.

Having reached the top of the table, how would Saltdean cope in the swirling Eastbourne wind? Would it be a leveller that meant Little Common could terrorise the Tigers? Would Trev find the back of the net or would he find himself in the referee’s notebook once again?

The 78 people present were in for another treat – well, a treat if they were a Saltdean fan anyway. Trev was back among the goals: he was first to react when the LC keeper spilled a long-range effort and he tucked the ball into the bottom corner. Then, as the defence backed away from him like he had a skunk down his pants, he unleashed a belter from thirty yards which pinged deliciously off the underside of the crossbar and into the net, surely the best goal I’ve seen at this level: 2-0. LC pulled one back before half-time, but they’d had the substantial advantage of the wind in the first half and now it was Saltdean’s turn to have the twelfth man: Gale Force 6. It was another new signing, Harry Shooman’s turn to shine in this half and he should be grateful that I no longer work for The Sports Argus and now bother with giving the reader second-half detail. Left-back Shooman scored an improbable hat-trick in the second-half, but to be fair to Shooey, he’s far more than a left-back. Despite Saltdean playing a back four, he has the athleticism and energy to be always available defensively and offensively, offering the team the solidity of Stuart Pearce and the attacking verve of John Barnes. The other remarkable detail about his hat-trick was that he scored them all with his right-foot, a close range finish after a neat one-two, a powerful drive from the edge of the area and a wind-assisted cross that swirled over the keeper. Our little cluster of five fans were delighted with the result. The only man seemingly dissatisfied was Trevor who was so, so desperate for a hat-trick himself and seemed personally insulted that the left-back should have the temerity to score three. Trev kept hustling, but when a goal wouldn’t come, he did the next best thing and clattered through the back of a Little Common player and got himself a yellow card.

I’ve loved my Saltdean adventure so far. I’d just wanted to stand at the side of a pitch, chatting with a friend and enjoying a game of football. I’ve got that, but I’ve also got the thrill of a title chase. I’ve briefly exchanged words with the manager, enjoying the fact that I got to tell him that he’d reached the summit of the league as a result of other goals going his way before anyone else got the news in first. I’ve got into a couple of mild and good-natured arguments with opposition players and coaches when I’ve felt that they’ve overstepped the mark in their attempt to mislead the referee and I’ve been there for the drama, not watched it from the comfort of my sofa. The crowd noise has been real even if it’s mostly come from me.  

Here's a photo from Saturday's match. You can see the five of us to the right in the background.

Tuesday, 22 September 2020

We've been told the wrong story

Colin is frustrated. Bills are harder to pay; work is harder to come by and providing for his family has become a burden that increasingly weighs on his shoulders. He’s a decorator by trade and he’s sure life used to be easier. Part of this is the rose-tinted glasses that we all like to peer nostalgically into the past with, but his assessment of his life is not far from the truth. House prices have risen 38.9% since 2010 while wages have stagnated. In 2017, Rebecca Long-Bailey claimed that “households are almost £900 worse off [annually] due to increase[d] energy bills since 2010.” Food prices have steadily risen also and so Colin’s life, that was once one of relative comfort, is now one of making ends meet.

Like everyone, Colin wants to point the finger of blame, partly to chase self-reproach away but also to find the story of his own life. Stories make up who we are as humans; they are the fabric of our souls and Colin wants that narrative thread to make sense of the chaos and fortunately for him, but also cataclysmically for the peace of our nation, there is a story-teller on hand to tell him why life has spiralled. “It’s all these Eastern Europeans,” he claims. It’s a simple story and the simplest stories are the easiest to cling to. He’s been told the story by the tabloids and politicians and then the story has avalanched into social media, charging through nuance, complexity, objections, compassion and truth. 


You see, I don’t believe that Colin’s convictions are true and the simple scapegoat of the “other” is a dangerous and scary thing. I want to offer an alternative narrative, one that will still be too simple to really unpick all the challenges of the average worker’s life, but will start to tie together the defining moments of our nation in the last twelve years and expose the purpose of the scapegoat story.


Back in 2008, the Western world faced financial crisis and it is a common consensus that the banks’ risk-taking meant that they were financially unprepared to take the hit that was coming their way. Bonuses and profits had eroded the stability that they could have had and when disaster loomed on the horizon, it was the governments with taxpayers’ money that would have to bail them out. Gordon Brown commented privately, “If you can’t buy food or petrol, or medicine for your kids, people will just start breaking windows and helping themselves… it’ll be anarchy.” The government had to step in for there to be any sense of normality and the Labour government have been blamed for their actions ever since. 


It’s overly simplistic to blame the bankers alone, but it makes a lot more sense than blaming Eastern Europeans. So, why did Colin come to the conclusion he came to? Simply, this is the story he was sold. As the months and years rolled by, the bankers were forgotten and the front pages of the tabloids were flooded with sensationalised scare stories about the threat of immigration. Lines were blurred between immigrants, asylum seekers and people that had anything “other” about them and an atmosphere of suspicion, fear and hostility grew, fanned into flame by reckless politicians and bigoted newspapers. Conspiracy theorists would group the wealthy owners or newspapers with the politicians and the bankers and claim that this narrative is concocted to preserve the wealth of the elite and garner votes from the public. I’m not convinced that in a dingy room in an exclusive club, the narrative of the nation is being concocted by the rich and powerful, but I do think that a narrative that shifts blame to a silent minority suits the people with power. The person it doesn’t suit though is Colin, but the second reason that Colin accepted this story is because it satisfies his need for a story that puts him in the position of victim.


With the story cemented into a position of widespread acceptance, the next step was to seek a political solution to this problem of “other” people coming over here and nicking our jobs and Nigel Farage’s moment had come. The solution was Brexit and here’s a beer-drinking man of the people to lead us back to prosperity. There is a massive flaw in that our economy has not been crippled by Eastern Europeans and this is actually going to put us in an increasingly precarious position, but the story’s too good - it’s simple and the more the argument is simplified, the greater the appeal. There are many reasons people voted for Brexit and many are legitimate - for instance, the disintegration of former colonial powers, but it seems fairly clear that if you’re partial to a bit of racism, the ‘Leave’ vote is going to be more appealing to you and the language and imagery used legitimised racism in a new and toxic way in Britain. Race-hate crime had been at a steady level of 40,000 crimes per year, but in the run-up to the Brexit vote and shortly after, numbers rose to around 70,000. If you voted to Leave, this doesn’t in any way mean that you represent this attitude, but it’s no random statistic that racism rose at a time when the “other” was depicted as a danger. If you take the deeply flawed narrative to heart, your violence makes you a hero within this horrible, horrible fictional story.


So, where next? Brexit has approached like a slug on the horizon and meanwhile, the people who don’t tick the simple ‘White British’ on a form have endured the toxicity and injustice that is not just twelve years old, but reaches way back to slavery, oppression, violence, abuse and injustice. They have their own narrative and the elements of Brexit that have given fresh energy to racism have trampled all over that pain once again. There’s a volcano of frustration ready to erupt, but it simmers and simmers, waiting for the right moment. George Floyd’s death was that moment and of course, the frustration is far bigger than Brexit, but this story that we’ve been sold where people that are not like us are to blame is huge in how it has shaped our culture. I don’t blame Colin in any way for believing the story he has been told, but it’s time now to recognise what’s happened here: how the financial crash led many to face lives of hardship, but that it is simplistic and dangerous to point the finger at the “others,” that the believing of the mythical story has led us to build barriers between races and that we can start to knock those barriers down by recognising that black lives matter and they have to start to matter in practical, meaningful and genuine ways.